Grief is hard.
I still feel pain and regret when I reflect on my losses. My reactions were sometimes rude and angry. It's embarrassing to think about. I miss people and I miss environments. I wish I would have done things differently. I wish I would have responded better. I miss who I used to be but know that I can't go back. It feels messy... complicated.
I see similar journeys in those who have also experienced loss. It's common to feel stuck in an emotional loop, wanting to break free but afraid to do so. We fear getting hurt again, or perhaps dishonoring the memory of those we loved.
Reflecting on past losses sometimes makes me fear the inevitable future ones. Thoughts creep in, like, "How will I handle it when _______ is gone?" It's tempting to shut down those feelings, to push them aside because they hurt too much.
But I've discovered that reflecting on my losses, even though it's painful, allows me to feel again in those places that have gone numb. Loss can do that—make us feel like the circulation has left a limb, leaving us wondering if feeling will ever return.
So how do we get the blood flowing back to those numb parts of ourselves?
Movement.
Movement might be talking about the loss. Or writing about it. It might be going for a walk, run, or a workout. Movement might be going to a location that you've avoided because of the painful memories. Movement might be telling someone you're sorry. Movement might be asking a friend or family member to spend time with you. Movement might be a text that just asks, "how are you?"
Movement alone doesn't "fix" the pain or take away the loss, but it does give you a greater chance for what we all want and need: connection.
Connection to who or what we lost (Even if it's hard)
Connection to the parts of you that seem lost
Connection to people who you need (And they need you)
Ready to start moving though grief?
We have been there. We are there. We want to help.
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Get our book I Used to Be _____ . We wrote this book to help you process any large or small losses that have gotten you a bit stuck. Whether you feel stalled emotionally, in your faith, or in your relationship with yourself or others, we believe there is hope! And we provide a path forward with practical tools you can begin implementing immediately.
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