There are two broad reasons for distrust in a relationship. 1) Trust has been broken. 2) Someone fears that trust may be broken in the future.
Let’s say trust has been broken… now what?
The relationship probably started off great, and it seemed to be going in the right direction. But if trust has been broken, it puts an obstacle in the relationship. Even if that relationship ends, the next one will be impacted by the broken trust you have experienced.
Overcoming broken trust takes accountability and time. 1. Be willing to share the details of your lives so you can build confidence in the stability of your relationship. 2. You are on the SAME TEAM. You want to be together. You want to rebuild what was broken. Be humble. This is hard work; your ego may struggle, but your relationship will thrive.
What if trust has NOT been broken?
Sometimes, people struggle to trust even if trust has not been broken. Often this occurs because someone has broken their trust in a past relationship, or they've seen loved ones suffer. In most (if not all) situations, it is a defense mechanism, a protective mental tool used to protect us from pain. But if trust has not been broken, it is important to take time to reflect and work on our personal trust issues, taking time to contemplate why fear continues to be triggered. Frequently, when we take time to find the root cause, we can begin to understand our needs and triggers. Then we can replace our negative thoughts with more positive truths. If we then begin to ask for what we want and need, we can build a healthy relationship.