How many relationships can survive conflict?
Unfortunately, we often feel that conflict is too costly, so we may choose to keep quiet or withdraw rather than face conflict directly. This leads us to feel like we have surface-level relationships that do not feel stable.
What do we do if we want to have relationships that can survive conflict? One method is to invest in the relationship by asking good, deep questions. Most people enjoy deep, meaningful conversations over surface-level conversations. But why do we choose to talk about the weather? It's easy. It's safe. It's not risky. But we were made for deep, complicated, adventurous relationships.
The next time you feel frustrated with your spouse, could you pause and thank God that you both feel safe to express yourselves? It's unreasonable to think that two different human beings could always perfectly make one another happy. When little humans are added to the equation, maintaining a pseudo-peaceful home by avoiding conflict only builds an atomic bomb made out of unmet expectations. Instead, trust yourself to peacefully disagree. If that is new to you, it's not impossible. But it takes practice. You've got this. You can survive conflict. You can build relationships that can survive conflict.
If you'd like to learn more about how to build strong relationships that last, start our online program Why People Leave now. Or if you'd like help working through conflict, Chuck and Ashley offer coaching.